As the watering hole of high schoolers, the bathroom is a place where many complaints, bits of gossip and jokes are passed along. Lucky for us, Room 23, home of The Sandpiper, is in close proximity to this watering hole. That means that we get to hear it all! The louder you talk, the more we hear.
For the past two weeks as seventh period began, I set up shop. Cozying up in the corner of the newspaper room among the books, my ear to the open window, I simply sat and listened. Every day I would hear one or two great quotes, and after a while I had made quite a list. Here are some of the best:
“That party was f@!^ing awesome!” Darn, too bad I wasn’t there.
“Aye, papi!” According to Urban Dictionary this is a “phrase derived from the Spanish language; often used during sexual intercourse.” Thank you, Urban Dictionary. Thank you, Internet.
“What if someone said, ‘Hey, you look fat today’?” I would probably say, “Well, you look fat every day. So I think I’m doing just fine.”
“Did you just, like, shovel shit?” Yes, because after pooping yesterday I got this incredible urge to shovel it all up.
“Don’t look at my chin today. It looks gross.” I wasn’t going to say anything, but yeah. It looks pretty bad. Pretty disgusting.
“Look at you, fat ass.” You know, I was going for that look today. Thank you for noticing.
“She’s coo-coo in the head. I’m the same way. It’s not bad; at least I hope it’s not bad.” It’s baaad.
“So, what does coitus interuptus in Islam mean?” It means what you think it means.
So next time you decide to take care of business during seventh period, keep in mind that people are listening. And yes, we are judging you.
-HELAINE RIDILLA
