Published May 30, 2026
BY ZANA BALABAN & TULLAH McCOLL
As we graduate this week, we have found ourselves heavily reflecting on the people we spent the last four years surrounded by, and the people we have gravitated toward as the year closes out are indicative of the relationships we feel will last beyond the confines of Carmel High School. Friendships, without a doubt, play the largest role in your high school experience and provide the greatest lessons that you will take with you into adulthood. With that in mind, we have compiled a few words of wisdom on friendship that we wish we had known just a few years ago.
Step outside of your bubble. Instead of surrounding yourself with the same group of friends, realize that you may have more in common with the people you least expect. While it may be uncomfortable talking to different people, you’ll learn the greatest lessons in the relationships that challenge you, especially around those who open you up to new ideas and experiences. Joining new activities that your friends are not involved in may allow you to better get outside of your circle and explore different hobbies, whether that be a sport you haven’t played since you were little or an experience like the CHS desert trip that forces people to engage with their peers in a way they haven’t before. Sticking with the same group of people for four years can be dangerous to the way you perceive the world and those around you. 
When seeking new friendships, look for people who talk about their ideas, rather than repeating the constant cycle of hashing out superficial events and interactions. Only in having deeper conversations about topics like religion and spirituality, the environment, passions and struggles will you find the relationships that last and are mutually beneficial. It’s easy to get stuck in the rut of talking about gossip and other small-minded topics. Next time your friends are talking negatively about someone else, and you feel pressured to contribute to the conversation, ask yourself this: Would you feel comfortable repeating your words to the person they are about? If you wouldn’t say it to their face, there’s a good chance it shouldn’t be said at all. Anyone can use the sentence stem “I’m not supposed to tell you this, but…,” so remember words can travel faster than you may think.
Friendships in high school have the tendency to take more from one person than the other—especially emotionally—sometimes leaving one side of the friendship with a challenging question: Why are we friends? Quality friendships are supposed to be supportive, loving and something that makes life easier, not more stressful. Putting time into friendships with shared values will better your chances of creating meaningful connections. There’s no time like the present. Organize a dinner party, hike, picnic, or a pick-up sports game and invite new people to engage with each other outside of school.
You don’t have to wait around for new, fun experiences to come to you.
