“Avengers: Age of Ultron” is the newest film in a long line of Marvel’s mission to transfer classic comic books to the big screen. Despite a few bumps in the road—not those caused by the Hulk, of course—Marvel has saved itself from releasing a flop film. That is, until now.
I must say this first: If you have not seen any of the Avenger films, start with the first “Captain America” and go from there; otherwise, you will be as clueless as Thor (Chris Hemsworth) talking about flying monkeys.
The penultimate Avenger-related film, “Captain America: The Winter Soldier,” ended on the cliffhanger of S.H.I.E.L.D. being decimated by Hydra and the remaining loyal agents scattering in the hopes of rooting out the evil agency. However, I must have missed the intermediate film because Ultron picked up somewhere completely different.
Long story short, the Avengers team up to destroy Hydra—but have already, kind of, destroyed it—and Tony Stark (Robert Downey Jr.) creates an artificial intelligence system named Ultron (voiced by James Spader) in order to protect the earth, but it becomes so intelligent that it decides to exterminate the Avengers and create a new race of, for lack of a better word, people.
The plotline is simply awful. It is as if audiences are driven off the bumpy road into a lake where all they can do is watch the car sink…in 3D. Rather than a plotline, it’s more of a collection of inside jokes and battle scenes.
Though the actors do a fine job with what they are given, they are not given a lot. They bring all of their usual, lovable characteristics but in a totally different type of movie.
Marvel goes from a thoughtful, cohesive storyline to a hot mess and then attempts to mold that hot mess into what they once had in the last few moments of the film. But all I can remember is the hot mess.
Then, there is the giant bilgesnipe in the room. Loki (Tom Hiddleston) is barely even alluded to, so I am left to wonder where he is. After all, he is the best character.
The dialogue is somewhat of a different story than the plot. At times it is clever and deliberate, but the rest of the time it is as if the writers fill the script with a can of Cheez Whiz because it is beyond lousy.
There are a number of lines that earn chuckles but nothing that makes audiences fall off their seats. Anyways, we were trying to absorb the pairing of Black Widow (Scarlett Johansson) and Bruce Banner (Mark Ruffalo), which is as subtle as Banner becoming the Hulk.
There are moments that stay true to the real Avengers, but those brief rays of sunshine are eclipsed by the plot, or the lack thereof. Walking out of the theater, all I felt was a poignant—that’s right, SAT—need to ask for my $14 back.
-Delaney King
