Published Nov. 6, 2023
BY AVERY PALSHAW
In light of the many new, modified versions of Disney princesses, below is a blatantly honest ranking of the official 12 princesses from the original animated movies.
- Snow White
Disney fails Snow White’s chances of being a half-decent princess by overlooking that she’s 14 years old and Prince Florian is 31. Creepy!
- Aurora (Sleeping Beauty)
How utterly shallow can one be to find “true love” after having a singular interaction with a mediocre man? The girl is passed out for half of the movie, and the few minutes she’s awake she spends singing and frolicking through the woods.
Oh great! Another dull, airheaded princess who sings to birds and can’t keep track of her own shoes. The only sympathy I have for Cinderella is that my mother also makes me do chores.
Disney’s portrayal of Pocahontas is highly inaccurate as far as representing the trauma Indigenous peoples faced through colonization, along with over-romanticizing her life; however, as a character she’s very sure of herself.
Merida embodies feminism, but she literally trusts a random, sketchy witch and turns her mother into a bear. She better get her mom a really nice Mother’s Day gift after that.
It’s refreshing to see an educated, well-read princess, but a 10-foot Beast tells Belle to stay out of the West Wing of his castle, and she proceeds to go there. Clearly “book-smart” isn’t everything.
Ariel is a loveable, curious character with a generous heart. As great as she is, it’s disappointing that she can’t love the life she’s given and is willing to give it up for a man.
Passionate about the well-being of her family, friends and kingdom, Jasmine is a strong female role model who knows her self worth and stands by her morals from the beginning.
Finally, a Disney princess who accomplishes something! Not only does Moana save her entire village, but she also isn’t focused on winning a prince, unlike many other princesses.
Many wouldn’t have the courage to fight in battle while pretending to be a man in a time where women aren’t allowed to go to war, but Mulan is selfless in protecting her family’s honor by fighting for her father.
Rapunzel brings hope and her bubbly spirit to every person on her journey, and this certainly translates to the millions of children who grew up watching “Tangled.”
Princess Tiana will always be absolute perfection as she embodies strong work ethic, building herself up to success and demonstrating to young children that one can never dream too big.