Apocalypse when? Apocalypse now! Can you survive?

Society has always been morbidly fascinated with the end of the world.

How would I do in an apocalypse? Would I live? Would any of the people I care about survive?

We see on television and other media an exploration of complex moral problems, while at the same time looking at the struggles and tragedies that befall the main characters. People die, families are separated, and everybody loses someone they care about.

Well, all of this ultimately avoidable. If you take these tips, you and your family can remain relatively safe in the oncoming nuclear Armageddon, possible zombie apocalypse or eventual breakdown of government.

First off, stockpile everything—I mean everything. Food, water and gas will all be valuable commodities when we fall into chaos. Take advantage of holiday sales and get to couponing to save some money when you’re getting all those delicious life-saving food-stuffs. I hear Target’s groceries section always has deals on the best products, but if you’re strapped for cash, head on over to Grocery Outlet Bargain Market, the one-stop-shop for okay food at excellent prices.

Remember a vital part of this: Sharing in the wastelands is an excellent way to run out of resources quickly. Sharing is caring, but be selective about it. There will be no room for charity when society collapses around us.

Provisions are only half the battle when the end comes, though, so your next step should be protection. If you genuinely want to live and thrive in the desolate hellscape that earth will become, you’ll need to defend your loved ones at any cost: guns, knives, pointy sticks and all manner of blunt objects will do.

If your goal is not to get eaten, maimed, robbed or corpsed, then get some protection—fortify your house or designated apocalypse stronghold with plywood and scrap metal from the Marina dump and get to living out your days as a survivor.

Thanks to lax gun laws here in the U.S., stockpiling guns and ammunition is easier than ever! Survival will be a breeze if you follow these tips.

Now, if a lone wolf thing is more your speed, you won’t have to do any of this. As a solo wanderer, you will need very minimal provisions. Walk, drive or, heck, even ride a horse. It’s the end. Go wild, live a little!

Wandering from place to place may be dangerous, but definitely more fun than being stuck with family while everything crumbles around you.

Whatever situation you find yourself in you will need basic survival skills. Building fires, building shelters and foraging for food are all critical skills if you want to survive the end of the world. Learning all these skills can be a hassle, but worth it.

According to The Backpacker, a hiking-outdoor-survival magazine, the top three bugs to catch and eat if you’re in a survival situation are all pretty common: grasshoppers, ants and termites. All three of these bugs are easy to catch and high in protein, so no need to worry about starving.

Whether you are wandering the big empty in your modified V8 interceptor or held up in an impregnable bomb shelter, these tips are sure to help you live through any apocalyptic catastrophe.

Happy holidays, and good luck in the nuclear winter.